I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
