went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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