You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
