I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
