At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
