Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
