Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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