So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
