just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
