You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
