I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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