census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
