Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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