Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
