In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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