"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
