your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
