Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
