He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
