I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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