i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
