If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
