YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
