Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
