I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
