If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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