you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
