So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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