The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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