Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There are leaves in my underwear?
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