Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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