his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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