You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
