Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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