Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(846): View more from

He asked to "fluff my boner.."

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(972): View more from Texas

It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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(559): View more from California

We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.

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(903): View more from Texas

best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.

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(972): View more from Texas

I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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(909): View more from California

well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah

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