I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
