the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
