I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
