You can't motorboat a personality
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
