Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
