Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?

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(510): View more from California

I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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(614): View more from Ohio

Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

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(956): View more from Texas

I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router

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(916): View more from California

one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess

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