So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
