Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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