There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
