Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
