I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am naked and annoyed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
