I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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