that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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