real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She is in my trunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
