He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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